MISSING YOU MORE THAN EVER 2010

It is unbelievable that it has been two years since you took your last breath. There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of you a multitude of times. I wonder everyday what you would be doing with your life. It seems like yesterday I was looking into your beautiful blue eyes and talking to you about your your plans for life. Your determination was making your dreams come true and I couldn't have felt prouder to watch you make these dreams come true, to watch you live your life. I miss our talks more than you could possibly imagine. One sided conversations just aren't the same. I still talk to you everyday as if you were sitting right next to me. I pause sometimes waiting for you to answer. My life has forever been changed without you in it. I wake up to your picture and I fall asleep to your picture looking over me. As I get older I watch you stay the same. It breaks my heart to know you will never have the opportunity to live your life, to marry, to have your own children, to grow old. I miss so many wonderful things about you. I miss your kindness and your gentle way of looking at life, I really miss your hard kisses that nearly broke my neck sometimes, I miss your voice, your late night phone calls, our discussions about everything in the world, I just really miss holding your hand like we did on the way to the hospital. I will cherish that moment for the rest of my life. I will always remember your sister singing to you in the hospital and the pride and love you showed her when she was done. Even though it was so out of tune. You made her feel so good. That is all she does is sing and she is so much better two years later. May she will be the next American Idol because you told her how beautiful her singing was, she has not stopped since then. Taylor sits in your truck so often, as he sits there I think to just feel close to you. He starts it and dreams of driving, but he never leaves the back yard. A few more months and he will be driving it for real. Tanner crys often and just misses the fact he didn't get as many years with you as everyone else. He holds onto the last night he had with you playing video games, eating at Panera Bread and shopping at the Vitamin Cottage. He talks about it often. It is his last special time with you, a few days before you went to the hospital. What a special treat for him. Gionne is growing into a special man. He looks so much like you the older he gets. Sometimes it sacres me a little. He is the same gentle heart you were. He is so artistic and loves to draw. He like you loves to hug and I cherish this so much from him. You guys are so much alike it is amazing. It is hunting season and your dad misses you more than ever. His hunts alone aren't the same. As life moves on to eternity we never stop thinking of you and making you a part of our everyday. You made a big impact on so many lives and God gave me a gift when he chose me to be your mom. Having that opportunity for 23 years has been a gift I will never forget! I miss you Son with all of my heart!!!!!!!!!